I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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