I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
