Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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