You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
