he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
