so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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