if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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