i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
