I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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