Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
