Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
