Non-Jews are for practice
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
