I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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