and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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