Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
