Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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