DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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