i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize