Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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