Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
