We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i permit you to call me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
