You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
