Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
