I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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