My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have post one night stand depression
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