I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
