You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
