I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
