He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
