she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
