yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
