Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
