he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
