it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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