I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Green mimosas i think yes
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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