Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
