i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize