Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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