Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
false alarm, still single
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