you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
