Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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