i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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