and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
