Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
