Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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