i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
