I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize