he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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