Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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