Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
