so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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