Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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