Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
