doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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