I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you made out with another girl for some wings
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
