Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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