Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
