Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
