This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
