Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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