He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
